La Vie En Rose

Translated: Life through rose-tinted glasses

There's a new couple in my social circle, 2 dear friends very close to my heart, have after much prayer and waiting, decided to date each other. I am really happy for them, not only because they are so happy together now, but also because they have chosen to wait and seek God before they got together, a whole 2 months (or was it 3?). They did something that I desired but never had the resolve to. So my dear diabetic duo, I wish you 2 happiness and I am assured that no matter how things turn out, God will lead your paths :)

At the other end of the "happiness" spectrum, there's been quite a few troubled souls close to me in the past 2-3 months. One of them broke up with her first boyfriend in almost 30 years of her life. During our many conversations over MSN, lunch, dinner and coffee, L's always insisted that she pursues a simple kind of love with someone who loves travelling and animals like she does, has a decently stable career and is financially independent enough to support her and of course loves her. Not really tough demands I think, tho the problem is how she always gets more impressed by the bad boys, those with a bit more character, and tongues a little too glib for their own good. I recall a particular conversation like this (vaguely) -

L: I just want a simple romance now, not going to think about marriage or anything long-term or complicated. Just simply want to be with him.
Me: But isn't the simplest of romances those that set out to be with each other, with marriage as the ultimate goal? If marriage is unforeseeable, I think it makes things more complicated, not simpler...
L: Hmm... maybe...

To cut the story short, hers was a short-lived relationship. One in which 2 people met and fell for each other really quickly, and broke up just as quickly. Today, for the first time since her breakup 2 months ago, she admitted she realized how naive she had been. Before today, she had always maintained that it was love and she merely met him at the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn't probe what she felt she was naive about...

Because by then, I was reminded of myself in a previous relationship, one in which I rushed to fall into because I was available and so was he. Ignoring everything I've been taught about observing and waiting, we started dating. It was only after we broke up after 8-9 months, did I come to realize how little I knew him, but that wasn't the surprise. The real revelation that made me realize my mistake was how much I had deluded myself into trusting a guy I hardly knew. How I could, in order to fulfill my wanting for a boyfriend/partner, enter a committed relationship and believe that this man loves me, and will morph into the man of my dreams, even tho we don't really know each other.

The rest became history of course, and I only took a couple of weeks to get over him cos I knew immediately when he broke up with me over SMS, how much I meant to him, obviously much less than I thought.

I have been criticized more than a few times to remove my rose-tinted glasses and take a good look at the real world. I don't even know if the tinted-glasses are still on now, I suppose it's something we never know. But I know I believe that true love can be found, but only if the seeker believes in it with eyes wide open and a decent level of self-control. Is holding such beliefs naivety ala La Vie En Rose? Or is this simple logic that keeps us sane? Who's to say?

Who is the one with the rose-tinted glasses then? She who goes around indulging in romances and "live for the moment", hoping to land eventually with the Destined One? Or she who waits around for true love?